Social anxiety disorder has a harsh effect. The graph below shows a generalized view of social development in 2 groups of people: 1, normal people and 2, people with social anxiety disorder.     We all start at zero social skills. In fact, for the early stages of our lives, we humans do nothing but sleep, poop, eat, and cry. As we enter into school, that…

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One major issue for people with social anxiety disorder is that they there are cognitive symptoms; their thoughts and mind is negatively affected by social anxiety disorder. People with social anxiety disorders will have a negative inner voice, which I like to call the “Negative Cheerleader.” While a cheerleader says positive and encouraging statements, the Negative Cheerleader says negative discouraging statements. This not only affects people with social…

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Are you shy? Introverted? What’s the difference? The Definition of an Introvert Intraversion is personality trait that is marked by reserved behavior and enjoyment of reflecting on a person’s personal thoughts (a marked trait by both the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator and Big-Five Model). The dictionary defines it as 1. a shy person. 2. Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings….

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We all feel anxious around new people and in new social situations. That’s normal. Just think of the last time you moved to a new city or school. Or went on a first date. A bit of anxiety is normal in all those cases. But when our anxieties in these social situations become debilitating or we start to avoid social situations as a response to the…

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  Stranger Acquaintance Friend Good friend Let’s talk about interactions with these people.   Stranger A stranger is a person you don’t know or have never met before. You may know of this person because you two have mutual friends or classes or work at the same place, but you two are still strangers. Interactions: you may or may not say “hi” when you pass…

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Eyes are the window to the soul, they say. That makes sense, because when you lock eyes with someone, it can be an emotionally powerful moment. When a newborn makes eye contact with its mother, it’s looking for love and care. When an ultimate fighter makes eye contact with his opponent inside the cage, he is looking to intimidate and scare. Eye contact is an important…

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Understanding Rapport

Posted by January 30, 2016

Rapport is one of the most important concepts you will learn in understanding social relationships. It is creating liking that will help you in many ways with people, anywhere from getting better service from your waiter to solidifying a relationship with a romantic partner. Definition of Rapport Rapport is defined as “close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s…

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You’ve read the Social Shiners articles. You’ve practiced at work, school, with strangers at the supermarket, and maybe even with people you already know. You’re getting better and better and conversation and meeting people. The next step is to create an opportunity to see them again. What does “hang out” mean? If you are not familiar with the term “hang out,” it is an informal term (verb)…

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Don’t Skip Small Talk

Posted by January 27, 2016

Let’s talk about “Small Talk.” Small Talk is defined by wikipedia as “an informal type of discourse that does not cover any functional topics of conversation or any transactions that need to be addressed” (source). In other words, Small Talk is talk about nothing. Small Talk has several nicknames: shooting the breeze chitchat exchanging pleasantries idle chatter Let’s talk about why you need to use Small…

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At the age of 18, I decided to change my life. I had no friends, no close relationships, and life was unfulfilling. I went to the library in the self-help section and read as much as I could about social skills. One of the topics that showed up across many books was open-ended questions. Conversation, to those who are socially inept like I was at…

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